Update or rather - non update.

People have been asking how I am feeling after the surgery and the answer so far is inconclusive.

Cons:

• I have not lost any weight - if anything I've gained a few pounds.
• I feel like my hair is falling out even more but it might be because I'm in a bit of a panic about it
• I have at least 2 new pimples on my face (not little whitehead zits - real big red painful ones) everyday that take a few days to go away and all but laugh at my natural acne gel and a couple of pimples on my back shoulders and chest which I never used to get.
• I have many days of spotting seemingly at random.
• I have many moments of a twinge which feels like ovulation or a cramp but amounts to pretty much nothing
• I have had no positive ovulation tests
• I have had no indication viz basal body temp that I have ovulated at all
• I have had no real moons.
• I have had multiple weepy crying jags over ridiculous things (reading books to my kids, insurance commercials etc.) that would normally be a sign that I am pregnant or pre-menstrual but I am neither.

Pros:

• As I said there have been several days where I've spotted. Twice the spotting became heavy enough that I declared it a "light" moon blood and hoped it would evolve into a real bleed but it didn't. It is a pro only because these 2 "light" days occurred at perfect textbook menstrual cycle intervals.
• The increased acne and spotting can be a sign of hormonal changes and I am clinging to the hope that that is what is happening and my body just hasn't settled into a new "normal" yet.

I saw the doctor who performed the surgery a few days ago and other than insisting my hypothesis that somehow the surgery increased my testosterone output instead of decreasing it was wrong he basically shrugged his shoulders and offered me a whole bunch of options which I cannot do.

Choices:

• The Pill, perennial favorite of all doctors. It would tidily get my unsolvable puzzle of a problem off their hands and put the resulting psychotic unraveling of my mind on a shrinks schedule. As I mentioned in  my previous post - the pill and I are not a good match.
• Metformin, again, see previous post.
• Monitor myself at home. Not very reliable or scientific and has a long history of causing my day to be ruined by a low temp reading or a negative ovulation test first thing in the morning.
• Monitor myself in the office. This means coming in 2x or more a week to have blood drawn and transvaginal sonograms done so they can get a vague idea of what my body is doing. I can tell you what its doing. The same damn thing it always did.
• Femara: a drug that will induce ovulation and is often preferred over clomid for women with PCOS but also has subastantial dangerous drawbacks with long term use.
• Two drugs which will inhibit the androgen induced symptoms. Not cure mind you, just mask. and the huge drawback - you can't take them if you want to have a baby.
• some crazy diet scheme where I buy meals from a company. I am not morbidly obese and would not benefit from crash dieting. Anything changes I make have to be gradual and sustainable because they are changes for a lifetime not to drop 10lbs to fit into a bridesmaid dress or something. Crash diets are the opposite of healthy for anyone but particularly for someone with insulin problems.
• give it more time.

I have, for the sake of sanity, decided to start with "more time". 

Please give me your strength.

Because right now I just want to curl up in my bed and sleep forever.