Into the Woods the Movie - a Review...ish

I'm not really reviewing there are plenty of really great reviews by people who are much more enlightened in the ways of musical theatre than I am but as an aficionado of musical theatre and Into the Woods in particular I have my opinions and here are a few of them.

I was really really pleased with the movie.

I was a bit nervous going in as I am of the opinion that the original production was completely perfect and sacred and should not be tampered with but the movie stayed true to most of it and every bit of the heart of it.

• The sets: ornate and beautiful with just the right amount of creepiness in the dark woods and just the right amount of suspension of reality and just the right amount of poverty and hominess in the character's dwellings.
• The costumes: wonderful and imaginative.
• The sound: perfect. The slight changes they made to the music just made it more modern IMO instead of the balance that was preferred in the 80s.
• The singing: for the most part I was really impressed. Just a couple of slight and probably necessary changes for the sake of actors whose voices were not up to the complete challenge of a Sondheim tune and really - who's voice is ever up to the challenge of a Sondheim tune besides Bernadette Peters.

A few things that stood out:

• There was an awful lot of slapping in the first five minutes. I think it was only jarring because we are so used to NOT seeing it. I must admit I was rather jealous of Jack's mother's ability to give her kid a good whack and feel no guilt about it.
• Chris Pine's stint as Captain Kirk may have forever altered his acting style. He nearly channeled William Shatner through most of his performance. It took me a little while to realize he was purposely playing over the top but Agony was the comedic high point of the show. 
• I heard rumors that they were not going to kill off the Baker's Wife, Jack's mother, or Rapunzel because its Disney and its a kids movie, sort of, kind of, not really, but we're all taking the kids anyway. This was only partially true and in usual Disney fashion they kill the mothers. ALL THE MOTHERS. Baker's wife, Jack's mom, Witch. All die. Rapunzel OF COURSE rides off into the sunset with her prince, no twins, and a new hair do. Completely reasonable repercussions for teenager disobeying her mother! NOT! but hey Disney knows their audience.
• And while I"m on the subject of the Witch - OH MY GOD Meryl Streep did a fantastic job. I was however disturbed by the end she met. I always felt the witch's disappearance in the show was left ambiguous. I never really believed that she had died or even been punished. She got what she asked for (in a careful what you wish for sort of way) to be taken "away from this bunch".  Disney - again, true to itself -  punished the "evil witch" with a revolting death by being swallowed by the earth and a tar pit. Truly heinous way to definitely DIE. Perhaps it is my growth from when I was first exposed to Into the Woods as a child to being a mother now but I really feel for her and it was as though Disney, always on the side of the ingenue (lol, I couldn't figure out how to spell ingenue or get even close enough for spell check to offer me suggestions. So how did I find it? I looked up the lyrics to Prima Donna from Phantom!!! mad theatre geek points for that one I think) had judged and  buried me. I think we all invent endings for characters when stories leave their endings untold. Having Disney finish her story in such a terrible way really bothered me.
• I heard they were cutting some songs and really the only one they cut other than some unnecessary reprises was "No More" sung between the Baker and his estranged father. It is a touching song but it was always a slow moving part of the show and they tied it together well in the movie without 7 minutes of two people singing. 
• Johnny Depp. I know I am going to have people shouting to burn me at the stake for this but I just kind of feel.... meh. He did alright. The excitement of "oh my god Johnny Depp is playing the wolf" just wasn't there for me. The wolf is supposed to be charming, a little creepy, and unnervingly sexual in his carnal appetites. I see Johnny Depp as having two settings:  Sam(from Benny and June)/Edward Scissorhands or as WIlly Wonka/Jack Sparrow/Mad Hatter. I still don't know why he was in a zoot suit or for that matter why Little Red's dress was from the 20th century when everyone elses wasn't but that is an issue with the costume designer and not his performance. 

There were two moments that jarred me. This is one of those shows where you hear something new every time you listen or perhaps it just has so much wisdom and various meanings packed into each line that you hear something different with each listen. 

1) when the Witch told the Baker and his Wife to bring Milky White to her so she could bring the cow back to life. Someone made a comment like "I didn't know she could do that" and someone else said: "She's a witch. She can do anything." and I was like - Damn Straight!

2) At the very very end when the Witch's voice is heard saying "Wishes are children" and "Wishes come true, not free". That stung. I thought that is true, I have to pay, I have to work harder, harder than I've been working, if I want my wish to come true. And then I though how unfair I should have to work so incredibly hard for so many years and sacrifice so much for something that most other people never give any thought to. But, having two children already I know that having children means sacrifice. It means living forever with a part of yourself walking around outside of your own body. What wouldn't I do for them? So what wouldn't I do for another?

But, my absolute favorite moment by far was during "Giants in the Sky". It is my son's favorite song. Partway through the second verse I looked over at him and he was sitting on the very edge of his seat.  Mouth open and unmoving. Eyes WIDE and unblinking. Spellbound. Soaking in every moment of it. I just watched him through the rest of the song. It was beautiful and I am so glad the magic of this show has creeped in to another generation.

Update or rather - non update.

People have been asking how I am feeling after the surgery and the answer so far is inconclusive.

Cons:

• I have not lost any weight - if anything I've gained a few pounds.
• I feel like my hair is falling out even more but it might be because I'm in a bit of a panic about it
• I have at least 2 new pimples on my face (not little whitehead zits - real big red painful ones) everyday that take a few days to go away and all but laugh at my natural acne gel and a couple of pimples on my back shoulders and chest which I never used to get.
• I have many days of spotting seemingly at random.
• I have many moments of a twinge which feels like ovulation or a cramp but amounts to pretty much nothing
• I have had no positive ovulation tests
• I have had no indication viz basal body temp that I have ovulated at all
• I have had no real moons.
• I have had multiple weepy crying jags over ridiculous things (reading books to my kids, insurance commercials etc.) that would normally be a sign that I am pregnant or pre-menstrual but I am neither.

Pros:

• As I said there have been several days where I've spotted. Twice the spotting became heavy enough that I declared it a "light" moon blood and hoped it would evolve into a real bleed but it didn't. It is a pro only because these 2 "light" days occurred at perfect textbook menstrual cycle intervals.
• The increased acne and spotting can be a sign of hormonal changes and I am clinging to the hope that that is what is happening and my body just hasn't settled into a new "normal" yet.

I saw the doctor who performed the surgery a few days ago and other than insisting my hypothesis that somehow the surgery increased my testosterone output instead of decreasing it was wrong he basically shrugged his shoulders and offered me a whole bunch of options which I cannot do.

Choices:

• The Pill, perennial favorite of all doctors. It would tidily get my unsolvable puzzle of a problem off their hands and put the resulting psychotic unraveling of my mind on a shrinks schedule. As I mentioned in  my previous post - the pill and I are not a good match.
• Metformin, again, see previous post.
• Monitor myself at home. Not very reliable or scientific and has a long history of causing my day to be ruined by a low temp reading or a negative ovulation test first thing in the morning.
• Monitor myself in the office. This means coming in 2x or more a week to have blood drawn and transvaginal sonograms done so they can get a vague idea of what my body is doing. I can tell you what its doing. The same damn thing it always did.
• Femara: a drug that will induce ovulation and is often preferred over clomid for women with PCOS but also has subastantial dangerous drawbacks with long term use.
• Two drugs which will inhibit the androgen induced symptoms. Not cure mind you, just mask. and the huge drawback - you can't take them if you want to have a baby.
• some crazy diet scheme where I buy meals from a company. I am not morbidly obese and would not benefit from crash dieting. Anything changes I make have to be gradual and sustainable because they are changes for a lifetime not to drop 10lbs to fit into a bridesmaid dress or something. Crash diets are the opposite of healthy for anyone but particularly for someone with insulin problems.
• give it more time.

I have, for the sake of sanity, decided to start with "more time". 

Please give me your strength.

Because right now I just want to curl up in my bed and sleep forever.