Grapefruits or Methadone

I often try to think of other things I can cut out of my diet to make me more healthy. I could easily just add exercise and I wouldn't have to cut anything but of course I HATE exercising. Every nutritionist type person always has a different idea of what I need to do and all of them sound impossible.

In the last 10 years I have cut out:

Fast food. It now makes me ill to eat it.

95% of the soda I used to drink and now even the %5 that is left is natural soda made with sugar cane and free of dyes and shit.

I've reduced the amount of red meat.

I've greatly reduced the amount of mayo and dressings.

I've traded much of the frozen processed  microwaved veggies I grew up on for fresh. Steamed.

I've started eating: onions, kale, mushrooms, peppers, hummus, squash, olives, and garlic.

I've traded white rice for brown

white potatoes for sweet

white pasta for rice or whole wheat

white bread for whole grain.

and have added Quinoa, millet, couscous, orzo and beans and I don't eat them often anyway and they're certainly not the main part of any meal.

My sandwiches and burgers only get half a bun if any 

I cook with better oils and less oil

I don't use margarine

I don't use artificial sweeteners.

I eat 2 organic eggs nearly every day.

I hardly drink juice

I hardly eat chips or crackers

I cut out almost all milk

I eat yogurt often.

I make entire meals out of salads

dessert out of a grapefruit.

I eat maybe half my bagel at our weekly bagel breakfasts and often eat less than my young children in a day.

Every dinner has veggies

Every meal has protein and so do most snacks.

I hardly ever eat candy.

In all this time and with all these changes I've just gotten fatter and more tired. Moodier and less fertile.

WTF

I am beginning to think the key to fertility is a steady diet of McDonalds, soda, and Meth. Those bitches have no problem getting knocked up.